I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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