well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
