Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
