ADVERTISEMENT

• (216): View more from Ohio

  when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  damn...impressive bar tab

  (216): View more from Ohio

  no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer

  Fav 13 1571 2276

  share tweet
  

• (707): View more from California

  It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.

  Fav 9 894 3993

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein

  Fav 36 5441 1068

  share tweet
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?

  Fav 14 4777 1254

  share tweet
  

• (216): View more from Ohio

  We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong

  Fav 15 1726 4637

  share tweet
  

• (770): View more from Georgia

  How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.

  Fav 8 1068 939

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."

  Fav 6 961 2653

  share tweet
  

• (732): View more from New Jersey

  He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.

  Fav 2 1910 793

  share tweet
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.

  Fav 1 1177 528

  share tweet
  

• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.

  Fav 6 669 1162

  share tweet
  

• (269): View more from Michigan

  Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.

  Fav 2 622 716

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (419): View more from Ohio

  it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?

  (1-419): View more from Ohio

  .....fair enough

  Fav 0 784 501

  share tweet
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?

  Fav 3 646 493

  share tweet
  

• (575): View more from New Mexico

  Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.

  Fav 1 360 190

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (347): View more from New York

  every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week

  Fav 2 277 118

  share tweet
  

Randomize