I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
