What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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