he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
This is my gift to your gina
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
