The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
