I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
