she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
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