There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
