I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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