Someone shit on the floor
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize