i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
