we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
