Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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