I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
