Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
