Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize