last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize