"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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