Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
