She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
