Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
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