True but thats because hes a fetus.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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