Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
