So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
