it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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