I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
