Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
