just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
