I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
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