the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
