Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
How external is "for external use only"?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
