Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
