They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
