you would pick up someone in the library
did i walk over a car last night?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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