There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
