we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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