eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize