How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
