You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
