there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
