So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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