I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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