bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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