the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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