I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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