when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
