Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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