If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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