Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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