i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
