escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
