I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
