oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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