we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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