Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
