allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize